Kimmy Grey

[kimmy]

Name: Kimberly Grey

Age: 16

Country: Brazil

Personality:


Appearance:
!Kimmy!

Kimmy is a beautiful teenage girl who puts a lot of effort in her looks. He died her hair purple with blue highlights because she believes it makes her standout. Normally she would wear her lond and down, now that she spends so much of her tome fighting she wears her hair pinned up. Her sea gren and white shirt with the pink hearts is what she is wearing while in the Digital World. She also wears purple shorts with black leggings. Her gym shoes are blue and green.

Kimmy is a short girl with a height of about 5"3. She is very small but her body is still one that boys drool over. Kimmy has a cute face and very soft skin. She enjoys wearing green eyeshadow over her eyes. Kimmy has beautiful blue eyes that she loves dearly. Her brother had the exact same eyes, so sometimes she gets sad while looking in the mirror. Kimmy has long eyelashes and thin eyebrows.

Digimon Partner: Mikemon and BlackGatomon

Digivolves From:
Botamon ~ Nyaromon ~ Salamon

YukimiBotamon ~ Nyaromon ~ Salamon

Digivolves to:
~ Mikemon ~ Bastemon ~ Ancient Sphinxmon
With Jimmy: Mikemon ~ Mephismon ~ Barbamon

~ BlackGatomon ~ LadyDevimon ~ Lilithmon

In DD Team or Alone: Dark Digidestined

D-Processor Colours: Green and Purple center with black sides.

Parents: Rachael and Matthew Grey

Siblings: Jimmy Grey(twin), Mitchel Grey and Britney Grey

Other: None

Pendant Name, Colour and Symbol: Lust, Green


Special Item: The butterfly hairclip that her mother gave her before she was kidnapped. In order to make Mikemon digivolve she uses her brother's ring that was given to him by their father.

History:

RP Sample:

Dec 25, 2009 2:58:35 GMT 1 Brandon Ward said:

The Digital World was the most awesome place that Brandon had ever been to, unfortunately it was good at be unpredictable. He had entered this world with a group of friends, but he was alone in this... this jungle. Brandon was not afraid, especially since candlemon was glowing and hoping at his side, but he did wonder if he would be able to reunite with his friends. The worst part of it all was that Candlemon couldn't even remember this world. Candlemon had come to the real world as a digiegg, and had no recollection of his past life. The little fire digimon was just as surprised about the Digital world as Brandon.

The pair walked through the forest relatively quiet as they marveled in the strangeness of the Digital world. They could hear the wild calls of digimon and at one point a a group of honeybeemon flew past their heads. That was when the duo found themselves staring at two other children. "Look Candlemon! There are other people, other digidestined!" Candlemon just nodded, being a digimon of few words. The two broke off into a run, or a fast hobble in the case of the one-legged candle digimon, toward the two digidestined.

"Hey there!" Brandon yelled as he and his partner approached the others. There was a girl and a boy, one Asian and the other European. The girl had black hair and Brandon thought she looked funny. Of course he was probably unattractive to her too. His red hair and colored contacts probably weren't cool in the Eastern hemisphere. The boy looked a lot more normal, but Brandon couldn't help but think that he looked a little nerdy. When Brandon noticed the boys digimon, a pawn shaped robot, he was sure the boy was a nerd. The girls digimon was small and slimy. It looked like a baby digimon, but it was cute. 'Why would someone come to the Digital World with such a young digimon? What if they were attacked?'

Brandon decided to introduce himself and his partner to the duo. "Hi! I'm Brandon! This little waxy dude is Candlemon, my partner." The boy smiled and held his hand out to Dexter first. This was because the boy was much more interesting, and he liked his little digimon. Brandon preferred to be closer with a stronger digidestined, especially since he was sure that this boy would be easier to relate to. Candlemon decided to create the others as well. "Salutations! It's really great to meet some other digidestined!" The rookie digimon held out a waxy hand to the pawnchessmon and smiled.

[Dexter Riker]

Hey and welcome but here is something I know none of the staff will go for.

You can't have two digimon, period. You can have a digimon and perhaps one that follows but in no case can you have two digimon that can digivolve. That would just be too powerful okay.

And i haven't talked to kai about this but you might have to keep the digimon rookie level when not in battle, other wise they would be too powerful. Yeah i know i sound like a broken record.

Everything else seems fine and it should be accepted by the head admins, Kai or Serenity. It's just two digimon would never work, sorry.

[Kai Stashine]

Hi Kimmy, welcome to the site! Great profile but just one or two things. However, I'll pass you over to Roxie.

[Roxie Drace]

Right. I have quite a few bones to pick with your profile, and I think I'm going to come off as harsh whilst I explain them. My apologies if I do.

1) I have to advise you to use the spellcheck. Firefox comes with one, and so does Proboards (next to preview when you post things). 'Peaked' for example, should be 'peeked'. Another option is to try reading your profile aloud to yourself or to someone else, as this helps to pick out small errors.

2)

never stopping anything that she stops

I'm sure there's something wrong there, as this makes no sense and I'm not entirely sure what you are trying to say. Same with this sentence:

When Kimmy starts finding she sees it through to the end.

3)

Being quite a stunning beauty boys fall easily for her, and she revels in he attention. Kimmy is a huge flirt and always looks for boys. She manipulates them into loving her and then makes them into her personal slaves.

Aside from the grammatical errors here, this does not fit at all. For a start 'stunning beauty' is not a personality trait. It's an aspect of appearance. 'Personal slaves'? At sixteen? I would seriously reconsider this, as it just does not seem at all believable.
I can understand that your character is supposed to own the pendant of 'Lust', but this does not sit well. Lust can be any form of desire, and for me it conjures up the image of someone who plays 'hard to get', teasing.

I'm also sure that she must have had some rules in her life, as she has been in various foster homes and orphanages, places which tend to have very strict ground rules.
Also, if she's angry, then how is it easy for her to make friends? Just a little embellishment here would do.

4) The whole appearance field just screams 'Mary-Sue' at me. Throw in a couple of flaws or something - a scar, perhaps. If she's been living on the streets and getting into fights, I'd doubt that her body is absolutely perfect.

5) Regarding Mitchel and Britney Grey, where do they go? You make no references whatsoever to them in the history. They at least need to be mentioned by name.

6)
Okay, so it's the history that I have a major problem with.
Please go over the first ten years of her life, even if they were picture perfect - the birth of her siblings and other such things. It can be brief, but you must at least give us some more information on it.

You must explain why the hitmen came. Even if Kimmy doesn't know, you do. There has to be a reason why a couple of hitmen would break into a house, kill a couple of adults and kidnap two children, leaving two others. At least, I guess that's what happens to Britney and Mitchel.

The jail. Why on Earth are these people kidnapping children and torturing them. For no reason again? That is completely unbelievable. I would recommend you revise this part of the history. If you decline to do this, it absolutely MUST be rewritten, with more explanations and descriptions.

The final piece needs some more explanation too. For a start, why does she run away? Because she hates rules? You need to understand that a lot of kids in Rio are in streetgangs. Running alone is very dangerous, and is likely to get you killed.

I have a small issue with the library thing, but I'll let it slide. Anyway, there isn't really a reason why she could have two Digimon, as the others have said. Even if one of them is Jimmy's, it would not ever be considered hers, and it certainly would not be added to her D-Processor.

It also seems to cut off rather quickly at the end. I'd suggest you add a little more; perhaps what has happened since their meeting - has Kimmy been to the Digital World?

7) Please link one of your previous RP samples to the last field. If you have another character (and I assume you do), it still applies.

This seems like a lot of work, and it is, but it needs to be done if you are to be accepted. If you have any problems with what I've said, PM me.